i havent been on this shit forever. im pretty sure no one even reads this but sometimes i just need to get shit out of my brain :]

things are amazing lately. i honestly never ever in my life thought i could be soooo happy. its weird. good, but weird. im not used to this drama free life but i must say its very nice.

my birthday is in one month......over the hill.

its 5 am i should probably go to bed.

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motherfuck. am i seriously ready for this? it sucks that no one is ready once i am.

so glad i finally got to see my cousins! ive missed them.

FRIDAY MY BROTHER AND HIS FAM ARE COMING DOWN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! CANT WAIT TO SEE MY BABIES WHO ARE GROWING UP WAAAY TOO FAST!

work tonight ....boooo :[ going to see tyler tomorrow ....wooooo :]

haha for real?!

:]!

am i the only one that feels like this?!?! this is the worst ever. im almost 23, when is this gonna stop happening? when am i gonna grow up? im probably gonna be one of those old ass alone bitches cuz i freak out too much and everyone bails. i hate boys for making me this way. why cant i ever just go woth the flooowwwwww. seriouslyyyy. haha im the same as i was when i was 18. fml man.


Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this ain't going away

Im so scared. i just want everything to fall into place for once in my life but i highly doubt that will happen. I want my main squeeze.

ehh

life is real shitty right now.

maybe its just my brain that sucks.

drinks tonight.

fuck my life.

wedding time

sitting in this hotel room faded. chase coys voice gives me butterflies. last night was soooooooooooo ridiculously wild.

the wedding was amazing. jennifer looked soooo GORGEOUS. i cried a little haha i knew i would tho. reception was fun danced a little. came upstairs/to the bar...got wasted. went on a drive and smoked and holy motherfuckin shiiiit. oh maaaan i was out of it. i must have laughed walking in the hotel for 30 minutes!!!!! came into the room to compose. went back to the bar then the vip party! TALKED ON THE PHONE....wtf?! and for awhile. laughed for 30 more minutes. all in all it was a good night.

today layed out at the pool fell in love again saw some man trippin the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck out it was intense.

night bitches

get money

last night was intense. bought beer? wtf? i could do it tho haha well not all the way. shots with timmy, hes so funny. ALWAYS DANCING OR SINGING. i know where i get it from. love him so much. then smoked 32 bowls with jim. fuuuuuuck did not know what was going on!! of course my friends want whats best for me but thats not always what i want to hear. i just want someone to REALLY get it for once. whatevaaaaa.

work tonight, the gf is comming with me woofuckinhooo. i miss her so much and i cant wait to dance crazy for her, so she can laugh cuz seeing my babyloves laugh is my medicine!

i cant wait till 11 am tomorrow....mini vacation woooo.

see you laytah brobots

it fucking is the worst feeling ever when people tell you all this shit and you have no clue if its sincere or if they are full of shit. of course i think everyone is sincere as fuck with the shit they say and that sucks cuz look where it gets me.....feelin like shiiiit. im not sure why this always happens i never once asked for this........well i used to joke about it but i wasnt serious and now its the only thing that happens. its like a rule. fucking lame! it sucks cuz everything is always perfect except there is one huggeee problem. the next relationship im in im probably gonna get fuccccccccccccccked over haha shitty. or maybe i will just never be in a relationship again! haha. boys always know exactly what to say at the right times, and i hate them for that. for reaaaaaaaaal tho. im getting waaaaaaaaay ahead of myslef once again.

anyways work was slowww which means tips are no bueno :[

i get my nails done tomorrow wooooooooooooooooooo then girl time with my chanch, banessa!, and j. forzen yogurt? i think so.

and palm springs on sat woooooooooooooooooooooooo i cant wait any longer. fuuuuck im gonna be soooo tired...work on fri night which means ill get about 4 hrs of sleep cuz i have kinder ballet at 10 then make up then the wedding....oh pray for me.

night mfs

My little bundle of joy!

May 26, 2009

i semi cleaned my rooom!! whaaaat?!?!

this is getting a bit scurry. its the same thing that alwayssss happens i just hope this time is not like the first time. oh god kill me. im just a dreamer. i should wake myself up pretty quick tho cuz im going nowhere fassst. ehhhh.

palm springs in 3 days!! then vegas in july which is coming waaaay too fast, and our second river trip at the end of july. ahh i dont even wanna think about the money i have to save. no shopping for me which means im gonna be sad haha. lameee

studio then the bar tonight, i hope i make good tips....i have to.

my days are rough but everynight i have a big ol smile on my face :]

night lovies!

what happened Last night? Always good times with these lil babies :)

Stayed faded all day. Super sleepy and hungry... Or full. Hope something good happens tonight. jon and kate was sad. Real sad. I like bloging. see you Soon :)

Just checking :)

<3

i cant believe how strong i have gotten. i cant believe im happy...and on my own. i never thought i would get to this day and it feels so good. i have learned so much about myself, cliche i know, but its true. of course i get lonely but im not depending on anyone to help me get thru my days anymore and i definately dont have anyone bringing me down anymore :]!

You always made it clear that you hated my friends,
You made me feel so guilty when I was running around with them,
And everything was always about being cool,
And now I've come to realise there's nothing cool about you at all,

Since you've been gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder,
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older,
And now you've gone it feels as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage,

so thankful the studio brought me and my urrica back together. i love that girl to death! she just gets me...and always makes sure my nikes/reeboks/earrings look ok :]

leaving to palm spring next sat for jenns wedding and i cannot wait im sooo excited. relaxation time is much needed but we prob wotn do much relaxing!!

nighnight lovies

seriously